


Lavender Ghosts

by newtella (artfullysinful)



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Trans, Asthma, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad with a Happy Ending, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Newt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4518891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artfullysinful/pseuds/newtella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>Lavender</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>    Lavender; Lavendula angustifolia. A small shrub whose flowers signify unconditional, unchanging love. An emblem of enduring faithfulness, lavender means <i>“I’ll love you forever.”</i></p>
<p>         <b>Ghost</b></p>
<p>1. one who feels no emotions</p>
<p>2. an unknown person who is only heard, never seen, always <i>hidden<i></i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lavender Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

>     Newt lied on his bed, breathing heavily, sweating and panting, twisting and turning. His hands gripped his sheets as he whimpered. His eyes squeezed shut. His nails digging into his palms through the sheets. Another whimper escapes from between his lips. His hands let go of the sheets and his nails proceed to dig into his palms.

 

 

     Newt's eyes snap open as his nails cause his palms to bleed and a scream escapes from his lips. His mother rushes in his room and onto his bed, wrapping her arms around him as strongly as she could to contain his spasms caused from the violent sobbing. Newt was still screaming.

 

 

   After a few minutes he stop moving violently and weakly wrapped his arms around his mother, burying face in her chest as he sobbed. "Shh" his mother sushed him as she rubbed his back gently in circles.

 

 

  "It's all going to be okay." She said as Newt kept sobbing in her chest.

 

 

   This has been going on for several years. Newt's mother constantly having dark circles under her eyes and bags to accompany them. Newt having permanent bruises under his eyes like tattoos. The sleep deprivation caused him to get in trouble in school at first, until his teachers found out the reason for Newt falling asleep in class, then they would just send him to the nurse's office.

 

 

   The days Newt would manage to get a full night's sleep were rare, usually came true with the help of sleeping medication. Those nights were like hell for Newt. He was forced to sit through his nightmares and only be able to wake up once the medication wears off.

 

  Newt was still whimpering in his mother's chest, crying, asking himself why did it have to be like this, why did he have to be born in the wrong body, why did people feel the need to make fun of him for feeling the way he does. The world may never know. Newt would like to know. Just like the thousands of other people that are like him want those questions answered.

 

 

 

(Meanwhile)

 

 

   Thomas laid on his bed, starting at the ceiling. The medication not taking its effect. It's been a while since the last time the medication worked, since he didn't have panic attacks at least twice a day. His inhaler on the night stand next to his bed.

 

   Sometimes it was hard to determine whether or not he was having a panic attack or if he's having an asthma attack. Sometimes he's gotten out of panic attacks by thinking they were asthma attacks. Other times he had to be taken to the hospital because he mistook asthma attacks for panic attacks.

 

  You'd think he could determine whether he was having an asthma attack or a panic attack by now. Thomas wished he could sometimes, other times he remembers about the panic attacks he gets out of by using his inhaler.

 

  The sun was coming up, Thomas sighed at the light coming through his blinds and lighting up his room. His alarm clock went off, playing Somebody Told Me by The Killers, and he just sighed once again before weakly moving his hand to his phone to swipe right, closing the alarm.

 

  Thomas say up on his bed and lazily swung his legs over the side of his bed as he threw the covers away annoyed. He runs a hand through his messy dark brown hair, slightly fixing it to stand up. As he stands up Thomas shakes his head in an attempt to make himself less tired, but all in vain.

 

   Thomas walks over to his dresser, opening the drawers and taking out a pair of black skinny jeans, a grey T-shirt and a red hoodie. He set the shirt and the hoodie on his bed as he pulled on the jeans, seeing as he 'sleeps' in his boxers. He pulled on the shirt and then the hoodie over it.

 

    Thomas opens his bedroom door and walks out into the hallway, closing the door behind him as silently as he could. He walks over to the bathroom and locks the bathroom door behind him. Thomas walks over to the mirror and just stares into it, analyzing his reflection. The dark circles under his eyes, the permanent frown on his lips, he knits his eyebrows together as he just looks down at the sink, opening the tap and splashing water on his face. He then looks back up at the mirror then sighs and places the frown back on his lips.

 

   Thomas takes a quick glance on his watch, 7:30AM, he has still around one hour until his first class begins. He walks over to his room, opens the door and ten takes the bag that was right next to the door before closing it once again. Thomas makes his way downstairs and walks over to the front door, passing by his father passed out on the couch surrounded by empty beer cans.

 

    Now, now, I know that you're thinking that Thomas' father must be an abusive asshole, but no, he's not the angry kind of drunk, he's the sad kind of drunk. He uses alcohol as an excuse to be able to cry about his life after work. Cry about the death of his wife.

 

  Thomas tried his best to push back the thoughts the image of his father brought him as he slipped in his shoes, taking the money from the counter and his keys before walking outside the door, locking it behind him. Thomas let out a sigh again and thought to himself "Another day of pretending nothing is going on."

 

  Thomas sighed one more time and began making his way towards his school. Not particularly excited about having to socialise and seeing a specific person that will be mentioned later on this chapter but relieved since he wouldn't have to look at his father, and for the fact that he got to see Newt.

 

   Newt. Thomas' favourite person. Newt is an angel crafted directly by the hands of some magical deity in the eyes of Thomas. Although they don't really talk, Newt and Thomas kind of found themselves sitting together at lunch and during the breaks, exchanging food and sometimes just being there for each other when anything happens to one another. Panic attack? One stays with the other until it's over even if it results into them getting detention for being late to class.

 

  But I’ll go into more detail about that later on the story.

 

   Thomas and Newt's friendship mainly was caused due the their shared gloominess but also because for some reason they feel happy around each other. The relationship between them can be best described by the French saying "Folie à deux" which translates to "madness shared by two" if I'm right. The meaning behind it is that when two people share the same deception they form a bond. In their case, they both suffer from severe panic attacks like I had mentioned beforehand.

 

   As Thomas reaches school at around 7:55AM he sees the only person he does not want to see at all. Gally. Thomas is debating wether or not he should just skip school or at least go to school after the students are in class, so that way he won’t have to under go Gally’s tormenting.

 

   Suddenly an image of Newt flashes into his mind and he decides to go to school just so Newt won;t have to go through Gally’s tormenting all by himself.

 

  “Hey Greenie!” Thomas heard Gally’s voice and he almost started regretting his decision to stay, but then he reminded to himself about Newt and how he would have to go through all that himself if he left.

 

  “Hey, Gally.” Thomas said as he turned on his heels to look at Gally. Gally didn’t like it when people talked to him without looking at him. Thomas learned that the hard way.

 

   “Where’s your girlfriend?What does she want to be called? Ah, Newt, yes.” Gally said.

 

   “For the hundredth time, Newt and I aren’t dating. And Newt is a boy.” Thomas said glaring at Gally.

 

   “Keep telling yourself that Thomas but you know Newt is a girl.” Gally snorted. You see, Gally is one of those people who can’t seem to grasp the idea of gender identity no matter how hard you try to explain it to him. He has the idea that because you were born a girl you are a girl or if you’re a boy you’re a boy.

 

   “What do you want anyway, Gally?” Thomas said, trying his best not to shout at him, because again, he learned the hard way that Gally doesn’t like being shouted at.

 

   “From you? Nothing. I’ll just wait until your girlfriend arrives.” Gally retorted and then just walked away.

 

   Newt, that was watching the whole scene hidden behind a corner, walks away from his hiding spot and towards Thomas, that was looking towards the direction Gally walked towards hatefully.

 

   “Tommy?” Newt spoke out, breaking the silence. His voice came out quiet, barely audible, but Thomas heard him, and immediately turned around to look at Newt.

 

   “Hey Newtie.” Thomas breathed out as he walked closer to his friend, smiling at him apologetically. Newt didn’t speak after that, he just walked closer to Thomas and hugged him weakly. Thomas immediately wrapped his arms around Newt and kissed the top of his head.

 

   “It’s okay, I won’t let him hurt you Newtie.” Thomas whispered in Newt’s hair while gently rubbing his back.

 

   “He’ll hurt you if you try to stop him.” Newt breathed out. Thomas just kept hugging Newt without saying a word.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys (/^_^)/ tell me how you liked this story?


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